Hi all, a little introduction.
I am planning to release an official book, I am writing the plot overview in pen, but I am typing it up to see opinions of it so far. Like, if you'd read it or not.
Title: The Gate
Genre: Fantasy
Author: Jason Dang (Me
)
OK OK, this isn't as easy to read as it may be to the writer, so here I will explain some terminology. (I wrote up around 20 pages double spaced in Pen in better detail.)
This is a very brief overview of the first pages. This is just a glimpse, I'll go on if people like it
Heros
Vashix: Main Character. Male
Ragnarok: Main Character. Male
Erraga: Main Character. Female
Gracia: Main Character. Female
Vincere: Main Character. Male
Villains
Pride: Main Character. Male
Envy: Main Character. Male
Wrath: Main Character. Female
Gluttony: Main Character. Male
Greed: Main Character. Male
Lust: Main Character. Female
Sloth: Main Character. Male
Side Characters:
Sarans: The "Others" in a person (Other side of the soul, evil/good)
Assassin: Other of Vashix
Captrik: Son of Vincere
Terms:
Stones: Refers to the 10 stones of the world. Get all 10, unlock the Gate.
Gate: The Gateway between our world and their world.
Other: Refers to the good/bad part of the soul that escaped.
Sarothous: Armored Knights given to protect the Stones.
Arts: Magic in that world.
Ragneekah: Ocular Art that perceives movements and Arts.
Father: Refers to Pride.
Academy: The military.
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Summary:
It starts off with Vashix telling Ragnarok more information about the stone. Erraga bursts in telling them to hurry up and get the hell downstairs to be granted their awards for their service. They get down there and receive their awards.
When Erraga goes up to get hers, the Major General captures her and runs into a car and they drive off. While that is happening, dozens of Sarans come in and start attacking.
Many of the soldiers there were ranked high so they took them out within a few minutes with little casualties. Vashix has disappeared and Ragnarok goes to investigate who put the Major General up to this, so he goes and looks up recent call logs, Hard drive information and stuff like that.
Vashix is seen ahead of the car, a good 300 meters away. The General orders the driver to speed up. He rips the prize from Erraga's hand which is a necklace, a necklace that amplifies techniques used.
Vashix extends both arms forwards and lowered his body to get ready to push back. The car rams into him. The car is stopped but the wheels kept going. It revealed that Vashix's left arm was synthetic, mechanical.
The car engine explodes killing the driver. Erraga and the General are knocked the the ground. The General picks up the necklace and tells Vashix he's a fool for trying to take him on when he's higher ranked, also when he got his hands on the amplifier. Vashix then reminds the General why he is called "Lord of War." The General laughs, as he does, Vashix dashes up with incredible speed and puts his mechanical palm on his face and says "This, is the Climax." The Generals head implodes and he falls to the ground. Vashix, bloodied up, goes and picks up Erraga and walks back to the Academy.
That would be the end of chapter one.
Chapter Two:
Sure enough, they find no information on why the General did that and the investigation continues. For bravery, Vashix was promoted 2 ranks, making him Colonel now.
They try to find a replacement for the General. Vincere is eventually picked and is now Major General instead of Brigadier General. With this change, someone has to be Brigadier General. Of course, Vashix was unwillingly thrown into the pile of candidates and he was chosen after a couple of weeks.
Pissed off, he goes and tries to get his mind off the stress. However, he meets his Mechanic, Gracia. He calls her "Grace." They meet up and such and they are dating and such. Gracia tries to seduce him (Keep in mind they are young teens madly in love).
Vashix rejects the sex and asks her why she is doing this so fast. She then apologizes and tells him she was trying to get him to come back to her house. He asks why? She explains her father has caught this illness that turns his skin into a stone like substance. He says he will come no matter what.
The next day he tells the Academy he has to go somewhere. They argue with him on short notice, but he says he makes his own decisions. He grabs his loaded pistols and 2 clips and goes out with Gracia to go back. They find he's dead.
Gracia cries.
The next day, Vashix attempts to make her feel good by letting her get some stuff. He gives her his Necklace which is worth over 1000K which doubles as a credit card.
As she is gone, he brings a bunch of supplies. Carbon, water, O2, phosphorous, etc etc.
He remembered the words she spoke to him, "What am I gonna do without him?"
He said to himself when she left, "You're not, I'm going to bring him back."
He draws many transmutation circles and then attempts to bring him back using all the arts he learned. All the research, everything he's done, is leading up to this moment.
It seems to be going well. There was much wind and lightning in the area. Purple lightning hit it.
Vashix was thrown into the Gate. Many hands grabbed him and he fought back. They pulled him in. All the worlds knowledge, and things from other worlds he didn't even know existed, everything, was being poured into his head.
He then saw it. He saw God. He was about to see the truth. He was thrown out of the gate. He awoke and thought it was a bad dream. He looked up and saw a figure. Vashix smiled uneasily, "Marc?"
What he saw did not have a human figure. The flesh seemed cooked, the bones were in wrong places, and the eyes were red with hate. It looked like the worst thing coming out of a horror novel. He screamed.
Vashix then noticed he was covered in blood. Gracia came home and saw this. She ran to Vashix and screamed out "What happened?!"
Vashix ignored her question and said it was a perfect exchange. All the materials for a body, his Chakra and effort, in exchange for a living human being.
Gracia now saw what he had created. She screamed. Vashix got up and pulled out his pistol, aimed it at the creature, and shot it.
They fainted.
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Chapter Three:
Vashix awoke in the Academy hospital. Gracia was sitting beside him with watery eyes.
Ragnarok and Erraga walked in and asked them how he felt and such. He said he felt a little fine.
Erraga began to cry and left the room. Ragnarok gave him a show of the records of the operation. Everything seemed fine; however, he noticed he's dropped over 35 pounds.
Vashix asked how long was he out? They replied 12 hours.
Erraga walked in the room again, this time with Vincere. They ask Gracia to leave, Vashix said he won't listen to "(Want to be allies? Sometimes I like to pretend I am a princess riding a pony..)" unless she stays.
They agree.
Vincere shows an X-Ray of his body. Things seemed normal, for him, until he saw his torso. He had no internal organs, save his Liver, Heart, and Lungs.
Vincere explained that was the price to do what he did.
He also said he's about a year to live, maybe less, since the Organs can't adapt to that environment for a long time. Vashix asked Gracia if she say that thing, she nodded.
He got choked up and said he was sorry to everyone. Suddenly, he began to cough, blood came up.
Ragnarok told everyone it's going to be the blood explosions that will kill him probably. Vashix smiled, and said, "Well, this is the price, and I'll pay it."
He passes out.
End of Chapter three.
Thoughts, comments, concerns?
