You both have five posts in which you must say, in the most humorous way possible, why your ego is larger than the other player's.

Well, I was going to be good and let you post first, but you seem as scared as austic that didn't even show up.... but dont worry I will still let you begin the fight.
YES that's right. I will throw away my first post, but it doesnt matter. I need not to use the 5 post agaisnt the likes of you. So start when you ready, go read a book or search in google ideas of what to post, when ever you feel like, it post, but anyhow you will lose.

Oh, such a cute Jr. Mod; making a feeble attempt to face my pure awesomeness.

Do not worry, young padawana, this will be quick and painless - you won't know what hit you

I need not use this 'Google' you speak of to aid my inevitable victory, since as stated above, it's inevitable. I would write more but since I see no need and because it is 3:10am I will leave it there and head off to bed. I await your reply.

Is that it? dont make me lose my time. You say your awesome yet you lack the abilty to write a proper replay, and the time is no excuse, as you have all the time on the world to replay.

You say that your victory is inevitable, but I dont expect you to have ever faced an oppenent an eight as awesome as me, as there is no one like me. But dont worry you may learn a few tricks here and now to make a decent oppenent in the future.

I could go on to end this now, but I am expecting this to be amusing at least. So post my little rodent rival, but this time post something worthwhile and I must insist you get a book or internet. I may not need to use such things, but you may use all the aids you can, you will need them if you want to get my attention on the very least.

Okay.. So I'm so awesome that you're convinced that I needed books and the internet? This is one of the most amusing contests I've ever been in - so many hopefuls with no chance and a pea sized ego.

Now now deary, ferrets are the most intelligent animal in the world created the light bulb, painted the mona lisa, we won the first AND second world wars and last but not least, we are God. Face it. We control everything, and since it is in my interest to win this contest I will win it. Done. Nothing you can do. Goodbye. Game over my friend.

Maybe, in the future you may win a contest against another one of my creations but I doubt it. Sorry Jav

All the contrary you have showed as much awesomes as a bacteria that lives in my skin. You try to hide it with big words but we all know the truth; Ferrets have NO THUMBS!!! You cant write, nor open a door, nor use properly the forks and spoons... As I see it you are just dilusional my rodent friend. Give up with dignity, while you still can. I am the best thing since dinosaur shaped nuggets (which are almost but not quite as good as me ) You dont stand a chance, never really did. I was just being nice.

Hah! I almost forgot how you squishy humans relied of these 'thumbs' to do things..

I'm a talking ferret, thumbs are way out of my league. Yes Duo, we all know that the bacteria under your skin are vastly superior to yourself so there is no need to stress it. Dinosaur shaped nuggets? Please.. You really must be so, utterly non-awesome then.

You sir are seriously wasting my time. I didnt even get to read all of that. But dont worry I know what you really want. You just lonely. Ferrets arent popular, I get it you just trying to make up in it behind your words, you are trying to be awesome, we all get it. But you can stop pretending now. People will get it. Just leave awesomeness to the real awesoME.

Hah, attempting to make fun of me now? Oh.. This amusing.. Javidabi - you obviously didn't read it all because you knew that it would make you jump off a cliff in pain, what a smart young padawana we have here. I'm a talking ferret, what's more popular than that?

Stop trying to wallow in a pool of false hope, we all know who the winner here is

Obviously it would make me jump of a cliff in pain by it's plain un-awesomness, yet again I am un-affected by gravity, the planet has no pull on me, that is for regular, boring people.

Talking animals popularity is going down, after all everyone seen one on TV, and TV never lies...

As for ferrets...

And of couse the obvious answer of what is more popular than anything, it's me

Yeah we do, thanks for recognizing it